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Sep. 5th, 2003 @ 02:33 pm More interview goodness
Questions for "Muffin" graciously provided by theadana. As usual, if anyone wants to be interviewed, feel free to ask by replying to this post. Or if you'd like to interview muffinsicon, just ask questions here.

1. Have you defiled any other pieces of furniture lately?

That entirely depends on your definition of furniture. There was that sordid affair between me and the big red bouncy ball. I suppose that's technically furniture, since people made a habit of sitting on it. Though I suppose I didn't technically defile it, since it is a dirty red ho whose spent way too long rolling around the floor at Roselawn. Well I did whip out my tool on that unbalanced stool in someone's place. It was kinda shy, and didn't really want to do anything with its gimp leg and all, but since I already had my tool out, I had to rub my tool against the stool. Oh wait, that's filing not defiling. Does it count if at one time, at church camp, I was horsing around, and shuffled the files in the cabinet around?

2. Why? For the love of Eris, and all that is unholy, why? Why, muffin? You couldn't have been that drunk...

As I said in response to zombiesrah's interview, HAC(Hot Adam Cock) is a much less appearling term than HMC(Hot Muffin Cock). Besides, there were too many Adams, and I am a unique and original snowflake, thus I deserve my own name. As for Muffin, it's at least mostly gender neutral rather than the gayish sounding Fluffy, or complete drag queen implications of Princess. Thus with a nickname of Muffin, my sexuality isn't implied in any way shape or form.

3. What will it take to convince you to have "teh mansex?"

All it's take is for some hot guy to take me out to dinner and a movie. Wait, I mean that would be the case if I were gay. Which I'm not. Just trying to set the record straight. It's not like I'm in denial of my true desires or anything like that. If I were in denial, then I'd be denying all of these statements about me.

4. What's the easiest way to kill you?

Just because everone loves me, and would never try to kill me, I'd say that the easiest way to kill me would be a bacon pie laced with peanut butter. I would definately be entralled by its' wonderful bacon pie goodness, and thus be forced to consume it. And yet, the hidden peanut butter would work its way unnoticed into my body, causing me to break out in hives and ultimately DEATH. But no one
would ever try to kill me, so I don't see why you'd be asking. Ooh, the food delivery guy is here! I don't remember ordering food... but it even smells like bacon! There must be some tasty treats for me inside.

5. Have you learned your lesson about trying to pick up 15 year old girls in chatrooms, you dirty old man, you?

Actually with a lot of soul searching(and showering to become a clean old man), I've finally learned my lesson with the 15 year olds in the chatrooms. One might think that being they are of the right height to... um... er use as a drink holder, so that you don't get those nasty stains on your coffee table from... er... condensation. Through some empirical testing, 15 year olds have been shown to be rather rebellious, and thus uncontrollable, and ultimately unrewarding to spend such time with. Now 12 year olds, are a completely different matter. They are completely pliable, and thus their minds can be completely placed under my control.
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South Park Style
Date:September 5th, 2003 01:34 pm (UTC)
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As his brother, i can assure all of you, unequivocably, that muffin is gay. Thank you.
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Date:September 5th, 2003 01:50 pm (UTC)
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What "muffin" are YOU talking about?
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Date:September 5th, 2003 11:31 pm (UTC)
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1) ...ugh.

2) I think Lee missed the point. But, um, I don't want to talk about it. :-p At least nothing bad has come of it, save your ridicule...

3) True answer: Truly believed threat of death or serious bodily harm: If I had a gun, and a solid self-defense case, I would shoot you first. If the case wasn't solid enough for self defense, the answer is still no. ...Or perhaps an amount of money significant enough to change my work status permanently (in a good way).

4) Mmmm, bacon pie. Better than sabotaging my insulin.

5) "...how old are you?" "Um...19." "YOU'RE SO YOUNG!" "I'm a senior." "YOU'RE SO OLD!" -Laura, when Muffin first met her.

That said, 12-year-olds fall into the "campers" category. People I could've had as my campers are just-not-conisdered-that-way. That, and the fact that when I was 12 or 13 or 14, acceptable ages to DATE a 12-year-old, I wasn't dating...so I never made that connection. 15 is when girls even start to be attractive.

And Ian Finlay got nailed for emails and phone calls...not chatrooms.

And that 15-year-old from that chatroom a couple years back is now dating a 30-year-old. She's 18. And I'm not 30.

And that 16-year-old from that other chatroom a couple years back has dated a bunch of people older than me, and we never hooked up! So there!

I'm kinda tipsy now.